You should not be going out for Easter eggs as they are non-essential items. Should you choose to defy these instructions can you pick me up one of those Cadbury Twirl ones?
I've just had a phone call from the Home Secretary Priti Patel. She's been made aware of my earlier tweet and ordered me to come and see her directly for a bollocking.
Fortunately I've already had my daily walk and that would not be considered essential travel.
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