Brexit – Whose Fault is it Anyway?

Alfie Moore applies his investigative skills to find the person or person’s responsible for the current political farce.  It’s definitely a crime but who dun it?!

Brexit – I’ll tell you who’s to blame….

The country may be catastrophically divided but we can unquestionably agree on one thing ‘Brexit is a shambles’.

Our great nation is in pain and I propose we start the healing process by doing what we always do best: ‘find someone to blame’. Where shall we start?

Johnny Foreigners: They came over here from their war-torn countries, applying themselves, working hard and becoming more successful than the lazy local indigenous types. Some people didn’t like that which created the perfect opening for this man…

Nigel Farage: A true man of the people. Providing that your ‘people’ are a pub full of angry EDL supporters serving out their football banning orders. Say what you like about Nige he could talk, and people hurting from recession then austerity, began to listen. That started to pile the pressure on this man…

David Cameron: ‘Call me Dave’ craved love and of course power. Yes, he was PM but when he saw that Farage was building an audience, he devised a cunning plan to quell the threat in one foul swoop – an EU Referendum! Hooraaaahh!

So, it’s all Dave’s fault then? Well, maybe and then again maybe not, as although Dave was a bit smarmy and over-confident in his remain campaign he should’ve been entitled to expect a bit of back-up from other political leaders, for example…..

Jeremy Corbyn: ‘Jeremy, JERRRRREMMMMYYY! Has anybody seen JEREMY!? Where the hell was Jeremy’s Remain Campaign!? There didn’t seem to be one. There was a rumour that he was a closet Brexiteer – either that or he had a really sore throat for 9 weeks. Shall we blame Jezza (aka Whispering Sid) then? Perhaps, but what about the…

Leave Campaign: Aka ‘Fibs on a Bus’ team. Led by Michael Gove and Boris Johnson. Interesting pairing these lads. They possessed the sum total of two charismatic politicians, although Gove had none! Which meant Boris was very entertaining and more importantly, believable…and some of us did believe, or to be more precise…

17,410,742 Leave Voters: That’s a big number but blaming those dozy dafties may not be conducive to national healing.

No sooner was the last vote counted than Dave announced: ‘Bugger this for a game of soldiers I’m off….ta-ra’. It was always going to get very very messy at this point. Surely no one was daft enough to take the job and press their own political self-destruct button? But wait….what’s that running through the corn fields eager to grab the poison chalice with both hands?

Theresa May: Article 50 (soon to be renamed ‘Article Shifty’) was invoked. Now in fairness to Theresa May, and as much as I hate being fair to Theresa May, by now we’d lost the remain battle, but we still had the opportunity to cut some sort of semi-amicable deal with our EU comrades. And so, with all the charm and interpersonal skills of an angry rattle snake with toothache, Theresa skipped off to Strasbourg to make a deal. It was proving very challenging but it takes two to tango and so should we put some blame on this man….

Michel Barnier: Still angry at being given a girl’s name, Michel wasn’t playing ball and his vague responses were like listening to fellow iconic Frenchman Eric Cantona at a post-match press conference.

May repeatedly asking: ‘What’s your best deal please?’ And Barnier just coming out with abstract seagull bollocks.

Although Barnier fell short of delivering a two-footed kung-fu kick he continued the football theme: ‘If you choose to leave the club then go on a free transfer’.

Can we blame Barnier and the EU then? Maybe not. Their club, their rules.

Theresa put her best compromise, the withdrawal agreement, to the House of Commons, three times. And three times John Smircow and the House laughed in her face. So, shall we blame…

MP’s: For not bending? Either way, Theresa was a broken woman and the Tory faithful voted in the only chance to save the day…..Boris! Boris! Boris! Boris!

Boris Johnson: ‘What’s your plan Boris?’ ‘We’re leaving on 31st October 2019’ ‘But what’s your plan Boris?’ ‘We’re leaving on 31st October 2019’ ‘Yes, but what’s your plan Boris?’ ‘We’re leaving on 31st October 2019’

As I write this Boris is in Luxembourg banging the table and telling Barnier and Juncker ‘how it’s going to be’. With all the street cred of a PM who has suffered more first week Commons vote defeats than any other in history. Parliament might be prorogued but that guy could fill the commons benches with inflatable MPs and still get voted down.

The nightmare continues and I’m still not yet sure who to blame…

 

 

Derby date for GETTING AWAY WITH MURDER – venue issues!

We learned yesterday that sadly Derby Guildhall Theatre has had to close until the autumn amid concerns for the safety of the roof. Essential building work is being carried to repair the roof of the mid-19th century Grade II-listed building and unfortunately a number of shows are having to be cancelled or postponed. 

On learning the news Alfie said: “Apologies to those with tickets to my show at Derby Guildhall in April.  We are working with Derby Live to source an alternative venue.  I’m sorry for any inconvenience and thank you for your support”.

Derby Live have committed to contact all customers to make them aware of the situation and their options for refunds or potential new dates/venues.  If you haven’t heard anything from them or have any questions you can get in touch with the sales and information team at 01332 255800, boxoffice@derby.gov.uk or in person at the Assembly Rooms, Market Place, Derby.

IT’S A FAIR COP shortlisted for Best Radio Entertainment Show

We are delighted to say that today it has been announced that Alfie Moore’s IT’S A FAIR COP has been shortlisted to the final 6 nominees in the Best Radio Entertainment Show.

The Comedy.co.uk Awards 2018 have now reached the final voting round – with the Best Radio Entertainment Show having already having been whittled down from over 100 shows to  the final six. Voting closes on Sunday 3rd February 2019 with the winners being announced on Monday 4th.

If you’ve enjoyed IT’S A FAIR COP and would like to see it win Best Radio Entertainment Show category, and even Comedy of the Year if you’re a HUGE fan, then please vote, vote, VOTE! (You can only vote once for each category by the way so don’t get carried away!).

If you can’t wait for more Moore then you can catch him on tour – tickets on sale now….

In the police force, we can never say “no”. Can we?

Tuesday’s Guardian reported the emergency services watchdog’s findings that desperately overstretched police forces are having to “pick up the pieces of a broken mental health system” in addition to their own crime-fighting role.

This comes as no surprise to Alfie who highlighted this very situation in Pass the Person – of one of his recent It’s a Fair Cop episodes.

Read Alfie’s opinion piece on the article  in today’s Guardian.

 

Series 1-3 of IT’S A FAIR COP available to buy!

As the new series of IT’S A FAIR COP gets back on it’s BBC Radio 4 beat fans of the show can now download to own the first 3 series which are available via iTunes, Google Audiobooks and Audible   (where the show has been rated 4.9 out of 5 stars – nobody’s perfect!!)

A number of listeners have requested that the shows be available on CD but unfortunately this isn’t possible at the moment.

Alfie says “Thanks very much for your interest and support and please enjoy the shows over and over and over again!”

Alfie enjoys a Guinness (World Record Attempt) over Easter Weekend!

Alfie Moore is delighted to be taking part in an attempt to break the official Guinness World Record for ‘Longest Running Comedy Show’ this Easter weekend.  The current record, set in America in 2015, stands at 80 hours. This audacious record-breaking attempt is planned to run for 96 hours straight – from 6pm on Thursday 29th March 2018 until 6pm on Monday 2nd April 2018.

Alfie will be one of a diverse range of performers, including ‘TV names’ and headlining comedians from the comedy circuit, contributing to the fabulous line up.  He says “I’m very excited to be involved in this world record attempt for such a great cause. I will be performing 3 completely different one hour shows in 25 hours so if you’ve enjoyed my BBC Radio 4 comedy series ‘IT’S A FAIR COP’ (or even if you haven’t heard of it YET!) then please come along and lend your support to this fantastic effort”.

Alfie’s shows will be at 2pm and 7pm on Friday 30th March 2018 and 2pm on Saturday 31st March.

Whether you want a £15 Weekend pass, a Day ticket for £5 or a Pay as You Go £3 ‘on the door’  just get your laughing gear on and help us make comedy history! Monies raised from the event will be donated to Katherine House Hospice.

For MORE INFORMATION AND TO BOOK TICKETS

 

NEW! Tour dates added for 2018

In response to demand to see “Fair Cop Alfie” live more tour dates have been added for Alfie Moore’s current stand-up tour show GETTING AWAY WITH MURDER. Tickets are hotter than a smoking gun so get yours whilst you can!

We have booked Leicester Square Theatre for Alfie’s only London tour date this year.  Be there or be……

In GETTING AWAY WITH MURDER former Detective Sergeant Alfie Moore, and star of BBC Radio 4 comedy ‘It’s A Fair Cop’, takes you on a thrilling and interactive journey through the art and science of murder investigation.

Enjoy Alfie’s trademark blend of humour, practical policing experience and detailed knowledge of the law as he answers the questions ‘What makes a murderer?’ and ‘Why do they caught….or not’? Experience first-hand how it feels to be part of planning ‘The Perfect Murder’. Everything you need to know from choosing a murder weapon to disposing of the body!

Book your tickets and see you there.

 

 

Funny Business – Standing up to Cancer in Sheffield.

Seven very brave Sheffield business people took on the challenge to raise money for Weston Park Hospital Cancer Charity by delivering their own 10 minutes of funny to a sold out audience at Sheffield Memorial Hall.  The ‘talent’, with no previous stand-up experience, were mentored for 5 weeks by Alfie Moore – himself a Sheffield lad and patron of the charity – before taking to the stage to perform at the Funny Business evening on 30th November.

Dr Kash Purohit, Consultant Clinical Oncologist in Sheffield – dubbed as Kash Milligan by Alfie for his truly ‘off the wall’ comedy style, was chosen as the winner but all the contestants put in superb performances and raised over £30,000 for the charity.

All monies will go to help improve the lives of people living with and beyond cancer. Funny Business has now raised over £160,000 to help people living with cancer in the Sheffield region. You can still donate by texting FUNI17 £5 to 70070.

Hello! Hello! Hello! ‘IT’S A FAIR COP’ Series 2 repeats start 15th November

Thanks to demand from the lovely BBC Radio 4 audience Series 2 of Alfie Moore’s  hit comedy show ‘IT’S A FAIR COP’ will be repeated from 15th November 2017 at 11.30am.  Grab a coffee, metaphorically put your feet up, and exercise your laughter muscles as you consider what you would have done in Alfie’s position.

In Episode 1, ‘Gobby Nobby’, Alfie has his audience join him for an evening on Public Order Patrol as he asks whether we think ALL crime should be reported and investigated. You may be surprised at the result!

If you miss the live broadcast the episodes will also be available on the BBC iPlayer.

In the meantime you can listen to a couple of hilarious excepts from Series 3 of ‘IT’S A FAIR COP’ to whet your appetite!

Radio 4 still wants Moore!

Radio 4 has commissioned a fourth series of IT’S A FAIR COP,  from police officer-turned-comedian Alfie Moore.

In response to demand by listeners of the popular show more episodes have been ordered to air in Spring 2018.

Each show uses a scenario based on a real-life case drawn from Alfie’s 20 years policing experience. The studio audience are ‘sworn in’ as cops for the duration of the recording and invited to decide how they would act if they were a police officer in the circumstances.

Alfie said, ‘I was very proud of the latest series and I’m absolutely thrilled to have the opportunity to write more. BBC Radio 4 has made a significant difference to my comedy career and for that I am very grateful – and especially to the listeners who were kind enough to write to the BBC requesting a further series. In return I promise to keep it real and continue to tread the fine line between comedy genius and gross misconduct!”

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